So, my wife and I went swimming and to dinner at the in-laws (her parents) last night. It was a great night, all the kids and spouse's were there. Afterwards we headed for home, and the wife (pregnant) wanted to stop at DQ. For all you non ice cream lovers that's Dairy Queen. So we go through drive thru, yes DQ has drive thru. As they should, what's the point of getting ice cream to cool down, if you have to get out of your a/c'd car to walk through 35 degree heat. ANYWAYS. We get up to the voice box and my wife suggests getting something for the dog, so as a treat I order the dilly bar, he rings everything thru tells me to drive up to the window. He comes to the window with our stuff then says that they don't have dilly bars. I'm like do you have anything similar, in a very fast, un able to understand french (i am bilingual) he asks me if i want an ice cream cone dipped in chocolate ( i know now cause this is what i ended up with) I say sure. So we drive away, we are in our jeep w/ air conditioning (liberty) and driving home, my wife asks if it will melt just as we're leaving, we live 3 mins from DQ so I'm like no we'll be fine. No sooner do I open my mouth, (there goes my mouth speaking w/out talking to my brain first, for those of you that are now lost, read previous post - Brain Freeze ) then the icecream starts dripping down my hand, so i take a lick, and then I have the BRILLIANT idea to put the ice cream cone in front of the breeze from the a/c. Smart idea dummy, as ice cream blows all over my wife's lap. Ok so that doesn't work. So I speed up faster, then I mention that I could get a speeding ticket, oh great! And so the self conversing begins, yes out loud, yes w/ my wife in the car. Ok son, do you realize you were speeding, why officer of course I do, are you aware that my wife is pregnant, 5 weeks from her due date, and I am eating the ice cream for our dog, she is not very impressed, do you KNOW what emotion levels are like during pregnancy. Tell me officer, are you married do you have kids? Yes, well then you can certainly compassionately understand where I'm coming from. So officer, unless you would like to detain us any longer, have my wife's neck extend have her head slip out my window and bite YOUR HEAD OFF, you will let us continue on our way. So all the while my wife is howling in the car, laughing her a$$ off. So a notice to all husbands who are / will be expecting a child w/ their wife. Do as they ask, demand, request whatever, keep them happy at all costs, police are chasing you....KEEP going, have to pee, HOLD it, want sex, TOO bad, unless requested, demanded or asked. All of you will thank me in the future for heeding this previous warning.
Husband, still alive and kicking has learned valuable lessons,
Cyph
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